I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
PANTIES FOUND
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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