Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Randomize
