The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
