So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
