8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
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Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
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i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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