last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
