The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize
