All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
