I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
