dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
