Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
