I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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