His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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