I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
