I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize