Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
