Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
