i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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