Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize