with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
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this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
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Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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