I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
