if you like me you must not know who I am
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
