You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
