for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize