is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
