I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize