I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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