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Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Damn victory sex feels great
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