I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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