Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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