we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize