Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
