is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
