I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
