Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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