You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
