A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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