those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize