the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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