if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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