I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
