just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
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Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
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He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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