i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
third nipple confirmed
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
