btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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