I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
