how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
