I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
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How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
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Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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