absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
