No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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