just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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