it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize
