I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
