Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
