party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
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You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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