I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
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Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
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