maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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