The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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