i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Girls should come with a carfax report
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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