why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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