i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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