My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
The struggles of a small town man whore
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
