how hairy? two words: wookie tits
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
