My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I checked into jail on foursquare
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize